The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

Finally got the team to try out the cross-bar challenge! Polo style. Haha. Half the team anyways, since most of us had to leave cos of inappropriate footwear lol.

Thats 25 metres for u. sounds near? try it, u dont kick u know. u throw. Whilst paddling nipple-dip in the water. Trick is u gotta jump, but not many of us can do that well. Boohoo.

Training was fun nonetheless. Finally could break the inpregnable coach in shooting drills today. As fore-mentioned, some of us were sent home so none of my goalies showed up today. So Sai Meng(pronounced Sye-Merng) gladly took the place. Legendary as he was, old men tire as well. All u gotta do is to threaten till he flops, then u shoot. Its cheating cos u dont get that kinda space in an actual match. Yet u dont get Sai Meng for the season either so i had my fun.

Yawn. Im cashier tmr so i get to finish the book ive been reading for 2 weeks now.


goodnight peeps

Its here again. Shit Season. They call it the yearly cycle for men. and along with SS comes the thinking. Its always the blasted thinking. Ah what the heck. At least exams are over. No need to be bother abt Project Wank.

But darn there's everyth else. There's the 08 season coming up and the team is far from ready. There's j1 work to catch up. There's work, of course, not forgetting its trina and ab's exams. And there's you. nah this isnt some lovelorn crap. Far from it. Its more of my condemnation of your hypocracy, yup thats what it is.

Do pardon me, I sound a little like Dr Seuss when i whine. Sound like him, i do.

Yea, it is true that emotions in you has to come out. Ive tried tossing them out through songwriting, but damn. The words are always there, the melody is there, but its always not what u're looking for. So let's stick to this common alternative eh.

If you're not a hypocrite, tell me what you are. You go against what you believe. You speak words that burn the crowd. Then you brand your victims as kerosene themselves. How many carpets have you soiled. 

But what is this i feel that i havent felt for a long time huh? It did appear for awhile, but what what what is it? Its gone now for sure. Just for that moment it was there, and then pop goes the weasel, as chin meng always sing. yea pop. like pop goes my heart. like the song.

i thought i'll never fall in love again,
and then pop (POP) goes my heart..

Haha. Stupid song. Was comic tho. hahaha. hugh grant.

Ah wth. At the end of the day I still turn to my faith. No matter how tough you are, you break. You pray you pray you pray, and then you lose hope. And then you pray somemore and then you get answers. Haha. Thats how it works. Its cos his the way he is and things are the way things are. An arrangement found in the natural order of things lol.

Alrighto. Said enough. Just took a glance up, wow. Didnt know i wrote so much. Haha. I can whine too ok. Its in the blood. I have whiny generations before me. Yea right on top of my level. And the one before that. haha. whiny.

Im gonna get me some sleep. Get me some sleep, I shall.

Finally.. this blog moves..


bye

*** The World's Dumbest

Wasting One's Luck

What happens to people who win the lottery?

Here are some stories from the UK, part I:
· A 36-year-old woman blew her fortune in two years and then had a heart attack. "I drank, gambled, wasted or gave away the cash. I was so bored I was drinking a bottle of rum a day. I won a fortune but it nearly cost me my life." She had won approximately $1.3 million.
· A 25-year-old woman says her approximate $1.8 million wrecked her career and her life with her boyfriend.
· A man who won almost $9 million became a drug addict. He says it ruined his seven-year marriage and "made life hell."

Taken off the net...

An office desk has 400 times the bacteria as a toilet seat.

A Toilet Seat For Two?

When someone goes on a health kick and starts talking about germs, and stopping the spread of things like colds, the first item they focus on is the doorknob. At home, in public, or at work, it is the single most common surface that multiple people would touch, thus increasing the chances of bacteria being left behind. But surprisingly, it's not the most bacteria-infested surface you face all day. That would be your office desk.

A research project at the University of Arizona, carried out in 2002, discovered that you would face less bacteria eating off a toilet seat, than you would on your desk or personal workspace, where the level is up to 400 times greater.

The study, which tested telephones, desks, water coolers, doorknobs, and toilet seats, compiled 7,000 samples from major centers across the country. What they found, was that while phones ranked highest in bacteria levels, the office desk was a close second.

Food or spilled liquids and decomposable solids that don't get cleaned off, provide the ideal start for a colony of bacteria. Add to that, items that have been in contact with bacteria elsewhere, that are set on the desk, or even unwashed hands touching the surface, and the count soars, sometimes doubling during the course of a work day.

To confirm their findings, researchers divided workers into two groups: one that wiped down their phones and office spaces each day with a disinfectant, and one that didn't. Within two days, those with the cleaning habit saw bacteria levels drop to almost nil.

lol deep mistake

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father dies, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away."I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I will inherit 20 million dollars."The woman went home with Charles, and in four days she became his stepmother.

Ahh yes, Women and booze.

Men will never learn.

christiano for you

Muahaha... typical ronaldo
Click on the pic to see the animation

Twelfies

'crazy siao mad psycho brainless nuts' --- Lafieel

Sexy-o-meter: 100%!!

Status: BFF
Date of Annointing: 10.4.2006
Place: SAJC LT2
Witness: Tan Sri Tan Chin Tuan
Mastery:

• Burger King (breakfast)
• Popeye's Chicken
• Mos Burger
• Subway
• N.Y.D.C
• Yoshinoya

Create your own MySpace Countdown Counter Today!

Oh and Pau has a new phone. K800i. Cool.. im gonna hog it tmr. hahaa.. add all smashing pumpkins hits to the walkman.


Cheerios. Beat ACJC tmr.

Got whooped by RJC today. Couldnt even put in a goal.. yea yea SAJC polo's living up to ur low expectations. whatever lol.. At least im not as upset as i was with the acsi game. I still think we played ok despite the scoreline diff.

we're up against acjc tmr.. if we can pull this one off we get a chance to meet acsi again in third forth placing. now im desperate.. I dont even wanna play for pride anymore. I wanna win so badly..

Dumb Day

Bet everyone missed me.

So ok. Let's celebrate my return from the long blogging-vacation with some whining shall we.

Marked the start of our season with a defeat today. A lose to ACSI that shouldve been a win. We really should've won. REALLY. and we lost. And now i feel a whole lot of baddie feelings.

I feel at least I did my part. Couldve put in another goal with Derrick's brilliant pass though.. but the goalie plucked it. But other than that marked my man i did, helped when help was needed and scored when i could( once again besides that blasted mis-shot i cant get my mind off ) Ray never gave up too. He was trying so hard even in the dying seconds. Thanks arh. But unfortunately dont think it was the same for everyone else. Some of us gave up hope and thats what i feel gave us the ass-whooping. The cream shall be smashed at our opponents from now on alright tigers?

Ok so now im in S13. Girls a-plenty ; 6:16
we cant even form a soccer team. Looks like celestia will have to back us up haa. Oh wells.. as pauline keeps repeating i get more girls to choose from now. She always look so jealous when she says that. poor girl must really miss me. Cant blame her. :)

S12 was great as everyone says - both he-mosapiens and she-mosapiens were wonderful-mosapiens. Even the teacher-mosapiens were good. Hmm.. at least i get a better timetable now. Gonna get a copy of pauline's and cross-refer! Feels so weird without someone to keep me in hand. hahaa

Oh this morning Aza and I alighted from 23 when it was pouring. I had my umbrella.. but silly Aza had to remove hers from her bag today just before coming to meet me. Nice going, sport. I guess all chelsea-supporters are dumb. Hahaa ok im just playing. So anyway we shared the umbrella and left behind the other stranded mates at the bustop, including the cute girl i was so tempted to go back for. But Aza threatens to tell yihui so i thought better of it. Oh yea then apparently yihui spotted us from her car so she called and offered to let us hitch.. but it wouldve been difficult to pick us up with the traffic and we were already soaked so we turned down her sweet offer. She had already made her mom turn out for us before she called la. awww.. haha. Oh yea we decided the umbrella was useless so we put it away in the end. haa.. and Aza's desperate attempt to keep her coloured bra from showing tru her wet shirt was to no avail so she heck care too in the end. hahaha funny.

Ok. Gonna ignore my work this week hopefully ill catch up when the season's over. Till i blog again.

Class Chalet Video Show

The less emo video. Enjoy!

Heres the second part. Pardon the bad quality had to compress it a few times.

Announcement: 06s19

Ninteeners!

This is with regards to the chalet this friday. There will be a gift exchange so those coming please bring along a gift that costs below 5 bucks. Please do so cos i bet it'll be embarrassing if u show up with nth. lol. TIP: head to watsons and get a 4.90 chocolate or sth if u are unable to get anyth till the last minute. But try to make the effort la ok? Easy to find in those gift stores like comic collection? I got this solar powered bobby head thing for 3.90 for a pot-luck last yr and the receiver loved it. haha. Also please make sure u get it wrapped so as to assist the fluency of the exchange. Hahaa duno how else to phrase it.

Next thing: Anyone is able to bring a laptop there so that we can look tru some class photos? Andrea and I are trying to compile some. So please reply whoever can ok? The person will be entitled to a second helping of the bbq plus u get the right drumstick of the turkey im intending to get for the chalet so it'll be considered s19 xmas dinner. ( no promises ah i try my best ) Oh if u're wondering where the left drumstick will be its going into my tummy. No complaints.

Lastly. We're inviting teachers! So please try to revert back to ur profanity-free language that u all have been adopting prior to the holidays so as to avoid leaving an impression with the teachers that will be following u guys up next yr. Just a little advice from someone who wont have to give a hoot. muahaha.

So see u guys this friday! Thanks to all those that will be making the time to come and im really sorry to those that will be missing it. There IS no date where everyone is free so i guess this is the best. Even vernon's rushing over the same day his touching down from perth.

Seasons greetings to all!

My valiant attempt in twisting a descriptive piece

Familiarity Breeds Contempt


Closing the door behind me, I made my way down the flight of stairs that led from my house to the gravel pathway outside. Upon reaching a turn, I stopped and stole a quick glance down Clemington Street. “Same shit, different day.” I muttered to myself and crossed the scarred road towards Starbucks.

Work started at eleven but I was usually out of home by eight. Following my daily routine, I walked over to my usual seat at Starbucks that was adjacent from the glass windows, receiving a view of the place I hated most.

“The usual,” I yelled over to Frank, my most trusted waiter.

“Sure. Same shit different day.”

When my ‘White Chocolate Mocha’ arrived, I took a sip and observed the boring street of Clemington.

The busy road was filled with incessant traffic. Amongst the traffic were red buses packed with people wearing ‘panic’ on their faces. Men and women late for work strutted past the window in their El Padre coats, shooting hateful glances at me, obviously jealous of my idleness.

By nine, the rush hour had cleared off and the river-like flows of Hondas were replaced by streams of slow-moving Mercedes. Behind each wheel sat Mr-I-Am-The-Boss-So-I-Take-My-Time.

I took another sip of my mocha and resumed observing the ugly neighbourhood. Old, worn-out terraces lined the pavements, each standing about three stories high. Wilted lilies and roses ‘decorated’ the gates that guarded each apartment. Disgustingly red mailboxes were positioned at crooked angles from the entrances of each apartment. Tall palm trees planted outside the houses loomed, impaling dark silhouettes over them. The litter-strewn pavements were colonized with little piles of dog turd, giving rise to a stench so foul that I thought I could actually see wafts of pungence pulsing from it.

At ten, grumpy housewives began exiting their homes to walk their dogs. Leashed to their owners, the ill-tempered bulldogs and border collies growled at any moving thing in sight.

I finally rose from my seat half an hour later. Finishing up the mocha, I zipped up my jacket, grabbed my suitcase and made my way towards the exit of Starbucks.

“Pin it to my tab, Frank,” I waved before pushing open the unnecessarily-heavy glass doors and walking out, leaving behind me the only nice guy in the neighbourhood. I then started towards the old building of Bartley Brothers where I would spend the next eight hours working. Same shit, different day.

29/4/03

Announcement

YAMAHA YR END SALE!! Additional 5% discount to whatever discount you already have.
YMC : 10 + 5 = 15%
YMS : 13 + 5 = 18%
Can help anyone apply for YMC free-of-charge! Please contact me if you are looking for anyth. Includes Keyboards, Drumsets, Guitars, Basses, Digital Pianos, Synthesizers ( we have motiff ), speakers, music stands, microphones, cables, effect pedals. Also accesories including pectrums, strings, cables, adaptors,tuners,metronome, drum sticks, drum pads, instrument bags, etc.

Musical Instruments (MI) not in combo store: Violin, piano, flute, saxophones, etc.

Please look for me at Yamaha Tampines Combo Showroom on tuesdays, thursdays and sundays. HP no: 96555872

Promotion lasts till end dec.

Rebel not intended

I came home from training today, ate a heavy dinner and went to my room. 15 mins later I was laying on my bed. The sleepiness set (chlorine works wonders) and I dozed off. I got up two hours later when i finally realised the disaster. I slept on a full stomach. So here I am glum and writing. Vain? I really have been gaining weight!

So Father here I lay before you thirsty for answers.
Why is it that you shouldn't sleep after a meal, and yet it is after a meal that you turn sleepy? Why is it that the most sumptious choice of food is always the most unhealthy one? Why is it that every good meal conjured by a parent is always spoiled by an additional dish that ruins your appetite? Why is it that when I skip a meal you'll make me walk to the kitchen and gobble junk which is definitely worse than having your meal in the first place? Why is it that after you pop the first tic tac in your mouth, you can't help but to tip the entire container in? Why is it after sports that downing sodas and isotonics feel so rewarding, even though you know that a can of coke is the reciprocal equivalence of all the exercise you just did? Why is it that the food your friend ordered always turns out more appetising than yours? Why are there so many fast food joints located so damned near my place? Why are taxi stands always in walking distance? Why is it that I come home from trainings, working out and other activities, whilst all Fender ever does is to eat and sleep, and still I'm at least ten times fatter then her? Why do people like Vernon, Arnold and Melissa exist without me being in their club? Why is it that figures of buddhist worship are all depicted fat, yet homosapiens of lasses' desires have to be slim? Why, God why, can I never have the discipline to be lean?

This brings me to a new chapter of physics.

LAWS THAT PROVE GOD IS REALLY OF HUMOUR.

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After Your hands are coated with grease, your nose begins to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Cannon's Karmic Law: If you use the excuse that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will actually have a flat tire.
O'brien's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem: As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring.
Rubys Principle of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are in a situation where you do not want to be seen by anybody.
Willoughby's Law: When you try to prove to the repairman that a machine doesn't work, it will.
Zadra's Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reachability of the area.
Breda's Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Wooly's law: When you are working late, the boss will never be around. When you are surfing the net the boss will always drop by.

These are just a few of the collated quantum rules of life I obtained from various sources. Feel free to comment.

Now that this entry has taken me just enough time for the digestion of what's left of dinner in my stomach that hasn't been converted to fats, I am going back to bed.

FYI shredding is a type of guitar technique. This is really good.

Fry, Hermes and Bender takes up roles FFX