Rebel not intended

I came home from training today, ate a heavy dinner and went to my room. 15 mins later I was laying on my bed. The sleepiness set (chlorine works wonders) and I dozed off. I got up two hours later when i finally realised the disaster. I slept on a full stomach. So here I am glum and writing. Vain? I really have been gaining weight!

So Father here I lay before you thirsty for answers.
Why is it that you shouldn't sleep after a meal, and yet it is after a meal that you turn sleepy? Why is it that the most sumptious choice of food is always the most unhealthy one? Why is it that every good meal conjured by a parent is always spoiled by an additional dish that ruins your appetite? Why is it that when I skip a meal you'll make me walk to the kitchen and gobble junk which is definitely worse than having your meal in the first place? Why is it that after you pop the first tic tac in your mouth, you can't help but to tip the entire container in? Why is it after sports that downing sodas and isotonics feel so rewarding, even though you know that a can of coke is the reciprocal equivalence of all the exercise you just did? Why is it that the food your friend ordered always turns out more appetising than yours? Why are there so many fast food joints located so damned near my place? Why are taxi stands always in walking distance? Why is it that I come home from trainings, working out and other activities, whilst all Fender ever does is to eat and sleep, and still I'm at least ten times fatter then her? Why do people like Vernon, Arnold and Melissa exist without me being in their club? Why is it that figures of buddhist worship are all depicted fat, yet homosapiens of lasses' desires have to be slim? Why, God why, can I never have the discipline to be lean?

This brings me to a new chapter of physics.

LAWS THAT PROVE GOD IS REALLY OF HUMOUR.

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After Your hands are coated with grease, your nose begins to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Cannon's Karmic Law: If you use the excuse that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will actually have a flat tire.
O'brien's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem: As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring.
Rubys Principle of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are in a situation where you do not want to be seen by anybody.
Willoughby's Law: When you try to prove to the repairman that a machine doesn't work, it will.
Zadra's Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reachability of the area.
Breda's Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Wooly's law: When you are working late, the boss will never be around. When you are surfing the net the boss will always drop by.

These are just a few of the collated quantum rules of life I obtained from various sources. Feel free to comment.

Now that this entry has taken me just enough time for the digestion of what's left of dinner in my stomach that hasn't been converted to fats, I am going back to bed.